Tuesday, July 1, 2008

1-8-4-3-6-5-7-2

That’s it, that’s all I remember about cars. That is the firing order of a small block Chev 350. Everything else is gone. I spent 8 years working in an auto parts store and my entire childhood around people working on cars and I know absolutely nothing. I take my car to AutoZone to get the codes read when I get a check engine light, and they tell me to tighten my gas cap. Huh?

People at work ask me questions because of my background but I couldn’t tell them the difference between a ball joint and a tie rod. Do cars even have tie rods anymore? The really bad part is the fact that I rebuilt almost every component on my sweetazz 82’ T-top Trans Am. (Side note: Mullets and creepers don’t go together. You get your mullet stuck in the creeper wheels while under a car and you’re SOL my friend, just grab the scissors) I knew that thing up and down and even rebuilt the wiring harness wire by wire after a fire melted the entire electrical system. I had a sweet deal where my father would pay for my parts if I put them in. It was awesome and I learned a ton, but all gone now. One of my mentors at the auto parts store made me memorize the firing order and showed me how to adjust valve lash on a stand by understanding the states of each valve at different crank angles; and then adjusting them accordingly. Great lessons, but with time, they went bye- bye.

So that was about 10 years ago but other things are lost too. I remember the McDonalds menu song, yup, the long one, but I can’t remember your name…anyone’s name really. I work with people for years and have no idea what their name is. My wife mentions people from our past, no clue who the hell she is talking about. I even had my brother tell me an old friend of mine worked with him now. The guy told him everything about me and my friends in high school. No idea who he is.

I know our brains must be like hard drives, with a fixed density. I really wish I would have known this earlier prior to memorizing every C.W. McCall song and the “I want the TRUTH!” scene from “A Few Good Men.” Further, I think I must be getting some bad blocks too because my initial fixed density is reducing with age which sucks because I’m still just a pup. My long term memory is shot, and my brain is full so I have no chance remembering the short term either. So I guess there is only one question to ask…”Can I borrow some cash?”

4 comments:

The Nemesing One said...

Nothing helps with "growing old" like a good angry pull on your pud. Give it a try and then cry yourself to sleep in the fetal position. Makes me feel better every time.

Matt said...

That sounds like a sweet car you built. Did you enter it into auto shows, or put it into storage so that it would be worth tens of thousands in a few years?

Anonymous said...

As a kid I hung worked at a gas station, drove the tow truck, rode shotgun, etc.

Did a complete teardown on a 1970 Chevy Camaro with a friend. Had the block bored out but didn't realize that they broke the starter mount. So you had to pop-start the car.

I come from a line of engineers and tinkerers so I'm not afraid to pull something apart. Freaked my father out when I did a brake job on my car in the driveway one day.

It wasn't until I reminded the old man about all the time I'd spent at that gas station. I learned how to rebuild a 3 speed automatic transmission from the mechanic Danny. Not that I'd want to do it now but I know I could if I had to.

Anonymous said...

dammit! That was my password you just posted there...

I think I have only met 3 or 4 people in my life that knew what that meant without any coaxing and you were one of them.