Inventions

Several close friends and family members know about some things that I have invented. By invented, I mean that I came up with an idea on my own, but others obviously had similar ideas as many were and are currently available. A have a couple more that will likely go commercial by someone else leaving me with regret and that “I should have tried to sell that” feeling. Also, because of personal beliefs, I couldn’t go public with a couple of excellent ideas that I know would have made me money….and I thought really hard about it too. I will leave it at that, but let’s just say they would have been marketed on some pretty scandalous web sites and I wouldn’t have wanted to tell anyone that the ideas came from me. Here are some other gems.

1) Topsy Tail – I don’t know if you remember this, but it was a little plastic loop that allowed you to take a pony tail and flip it back inside itself. I did this with my sister’s hair and a makeshift Topsy Tail approximately 2 years before we saw it on TV. I was a kid but actually thought that it would be a cool hair thingy to be able to buy. It made plenty of money.

2) Camping Totes – I thought someone should just compile camping necessities in an easy tote and just market the entire thing. Then, when you head out, you don’t need to do anything but grab the tote, and you never forget anything. Several years after this idea, which was really just a marketing idea, I walked into a sporting goods store and saw exactly this. I missed again.

3) A buddy and I wanted to sell a daily calendar that had funny names for sexual positions like “The Ultimate Warrior”, “The Stranger”, or “Ruty, Tuty, Fresh, and Fruity” on each day and have the definitions on the back. We know it would have been huge for college kids and guys in general. This one almost went to fruition, but we both had second thoughts about making bank on some pretty nasty stuff. A couple of months ago, we saw it in a store.

4) CPCs – Cotton Penis Caps. Women have no understanding of this, but after a man urinates, there is often a little drip left which can cause an embarrassing wet spot in the front of the pants. Dockers are the worst. I’ve tried tapping, shaking, wiggling, flicking, milking, and nothing seems to fix this. You think you are done, put it away and boom, wet spot. So we could really use a little manpon of sorts to block the floodgates. I haven’t seen this on the market and the details aren’t worked out, but I could really use a little capper.

5) Wet wipes for adults – A buddy and I discussed this because let’s be honest, if you got feces on your hands, you wouldn’t just wipe it off with a dry paper towel and go about eating your sandwich. ‘Nuff said. I hear they have this now too. BTW…Clorox wipes should NEVER be used for this. Wow, that stings.

6) Doughnuts filled with Soft Serve Ice Cream – If people buy deep fried Twinkies, they will buy hot, fresh doughnuts filled with soft serve. I haven’t seen this yet, but a county fair would be a great starting place to market it.

7) Handimals – I thought kids might like little animal puppets that had individual finger slots for the legs where the body rests on top of the hand. I did some searching and found that this had already been marketed and was actually called Handimals as well. Missed another one, name and all.

I realize that I have given away a couple here, but I have to be honest with myself, I will never do anything with them. I’ve proven that over and over. If you do perfect the CPC, let me know and I’ll buy some. These are just a sample of some of the stupid things I come up with. If you think these are all lame ideas please remember that the only difference between a stupid idea and an ingenious one is the amount of money it makes.