Damn Cat!

I used to love animals. I was a cat person. My dad, on the other hand, seemed to hate all pets and I had a hard time understanding why. With time, that understanding has come. Here is a little background. When I was just a boy, every night I would find my cat before bedtime, snuggle in with the little fur face and start to drift off to sleep. As a matter of routine, my brother would inevitably come in and take it from me just as we both got comfortable and close to dozing. Regardless of the fact that he knew I was terrified of the dark and that cat was my much needed comfort, he would take it. I would cry and yell..didn’t matter, he had the power so he took the cat. To add insult to injury, the cat was then often much disturbed and would leave his bedroom in about 3 min. but alas, that was the way of things.

Now, that being said, I told myself that when I was in charge and had my own house, I would have my cat and it would sleep with me nightly and my ‘little meowers” would never again be ripped away. Wow, I’ve changed. I now have a home of my own and a cat, and I hate it’s ever loving, filthy guts. I despise it with a guttural, deep seeded loathing. I wish it ill, I wish it death, I wish it pain and let me tell you why.

The kitty is my daughter’s. It is relatively harmless unless you are doing two things, sleeping, or using the bathroom. If you are in the bathroom, it will pound on the door until you let it in. Yes, it pounds on the frickin’ door with both front paws banging it against the frame. You let it in and it wants to drink out of the sink. Not that big of a deal except that at least once a week I come home to a sink that has been running for about 12 hours. Which happens to be about 11 hours and 58 min. after the cat last drank from it. So I give in, leave my throne, turn on the sink for a drink, it takes a couple licks and heads back to the door and pounds to get out. Let it out, and it pounds to get in. Add an annoying mew to that pounding and you are starting to get the picture. Now imagine this every time you use the restroom. Everytime.

Settle into bed at any hour and you start to hear that faint pounding, not at the bathroom door, but the outside door. You get up and let the little bastard in, get back into bed, and then he starts the mewing and pounding to get back out. This occurs at whatever bedtime happens to be and again at 5am……Every DAY! Oh, I hate it, so severely. It is relentless, and what makes it worse is the fact that my wife sleeps soundly and rarely hears it. The torture is mine to bear alone. I love my daughter and wouldn’t want her to feel the loss of a pet at my hands, so I can’t kill it. Likewise, I can’t slug it in the guts, drop it off a cliff, or starve it and leave it for dead in the desert. So I just look it with piercing hate and wish it away. I just hope I am never left alone with it, it may be the ultimate test…..and I’m lookin’ to fail.