Caution: this blog contains some candid language and is a little explicit. It is not for the faint of heart or those unable to truly be honest with themselves. This blog is one of several I plan to write outlining some of my more personal theories that I rarely share with others.
The topic for today: Why all women are really lesbians. Hear me out on this one, I have ample proof. Disclaimer: I am not speaking about any religious beliefs, morality, or any political or social ideals. I am only speaking to raw, innate, sexual attraction.
I’ll illustrate my point by describing a situation and ask that you honestly listen to your visceral reaction before calling me a moron.
Scene change:
You walk into the bedroom and catch a man auditioning his finger puppets. He is standing, hunched over, in the corner of the room facing the wall. He assumes this position because he knows that the intersection of these two walls is a place that God’s eyes can’t see. Sweat pours from his acne filled back as he pants loudly while performing “The Rabid Dog”. If he turned now, you would be shocked at the self loathing burned on his cherry red face.
Walking into each of those scenarios, man or woman will both have the same guttural reaction. One will elicit a passionate stir, a sensual beckoning. The other causes just the slightest amount of bile to creep up your esophagus, leaving an alkaline taste in your mouth for weeks, if not years.
I’ll take it a step further. Think of the sexually liberated woman and her buffet of sex toys. Your mind swims and your blood stirs with the possibilities. Reverse the situation where a man has one little exchange with an inflatable, but very lifelike, silicon torso. The neighbors are called and he is put on the police watch list for life. Women and sexuality are sisters (attractive step-sisters); men are only a necessary evil.
7 comments:
Thanks MeatWad. I have never reach climax so quickly as I did while reading your post. You the man. Oh, and I couldn't agree with you more.
I can't believe you put the "rabid dog" into print.
I disagree with this post by the way. But not the way you'd think. If you'd move over here, I'd explain.
with all the important issues facing the world at this time, this topic seems rather self indulgent if not meaningless to the general population. While this is an intersting take on the female gender, I feel you are completely inaccurate. Ofcourse,I may be wrong cause after all I am a only a woman.
I have to say your perspective is slightly skewed.
Sure. In your eyes a chick diddling herself on a bed is sweet, but not to most chicks out there. I'm am sure it is evenly split into thirds:
- those who rather have a chick than dude
- those who rather have a dude than chick
- and those who rather have neither.
It's all about perspective. To you, all women are lesbians because they are inately sexy.
To me, they are lesbians because they are not naked in my bed right now.
Anon...do you really need to read another blog about Iraq, the election, or other important issues facing the world? If so, go to CNN.com The great thing about a personal blog is the self indulgent part. As for your distain...some might call that denial. I also love the "only a woman" part because I am obviously a sexist..who else would dare theorize publicly about the inner workings of the female brain?
Interesting perspective on a topic that to most men, I know, would feel the same, as it it the fantasy of two women together that sends most men into a mouth dropping, sweaty, unable to think with head #1 fit of uncontrollable pleasure. Hate to tell ya boys but the true answer lies within each woman individually and to share that very deep secret with you all would go against everything I as woman have been taught. So I leave you with the hope that it is true, but also with the slight doubt that all this may really, just be in your "head".
And to the blogger that climaxed so quickly over those few words, I say, hope for your partners sake you were alone.
With high prices & poor economy, that's all I got to think about. And I agree, the rules aren't the same, even in the shower. I try and let the suds run, where I could watch my girlfreind wash & wash and wash just to make sure she got every spot. Just not right.
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